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The Issue with Telling Boys to “Act like Men”


If you’ve ever stepped foot outside, you’ve probably heard phrases along the lines of “Act like a man “or “Boys don’t cry.” These phrases are more often than not aimed at young boys.

The problem with them, however, is that they perpetrate harmful gender norms and stereotypes. The underlying message behind all of these statements is that men are the dominant gender and as such must always exhibit strength through the most aggressive behavior possible. It tells young boys that they must always be masculine, that crying or being sensitive is behavior that is reserved for women and women only, and that their manhood is only validated by how aggressive and brute they can be.

This kind of mentality furthers what is called “hypermasculinity.” Which is a psychological term that is used to describe stereotypical male behavior and traits such as strength or boldness. A culture of hypermasculinity plagues the lives of boys at an extremely young age and often creates emotionally stunted men. These men feel as though the only acceptable way to express any emotion is through and by being hostile. It contributes to a culture that excuses sexual assault as “Boys just being boys.”

But we cannot continue to support ideologies such as these. Rape culture, is a culture that permits sexual assault and rape and we as human beings cannot allow it to continue.

Boys can cry. Acting like a man does not equate to acting inhumane. And nothing with any sound backing or ground should say otherwise.

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